Picture of Me

I don’t have very many recent photos of me, I’m always behind the camera – for obvious reasons.  Last weekend, my friend Stephenie captured this of me working at a wedding with Jon Rabalais and Nikki Miller.  This was one of the most entertaining weddings … the bride and all of her friends, including her sister and mom, were dancing to J Dash’s Wop, which is one of the most catchy songs I’ve heard in a while.  If you haven’t heard it, look it up on You Tube :-)  We were all standing by, watching them all dance (and we even joined in a few times).  Thanks for the  photo, Steph!  And just for the record, I do usually fix my hair when I work, but I was running late and didn’t have time :-)

Oh, and here’s a little better one that my Aunt Debbie took of Em and I on Thanksgiving … I didn’t realize I could grab it off of Facebook:

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Day 19 – I Miss This …

Its been almost 5 months since I stopped nursing Emelyn, she was just over 20 months old.  I’m very proud to have nursed her so long and I treasure every moment of that 20 months.  If you are curious about more of my thoughts on nursing Emelyn, I wrote a post called “Not Quite Ready” when she was 15 months old.  There are also some more photos that my sister took of me nursing Emelyn.

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Regrets (Day 18)

Regrets are not something I really dwell on, I don’t believe its productive and things that you have done in the past – regardless of what they were – shape who you are today.  The only thing that I have a lot of guilt about is the way I handled things with when Emelyn was born.  Emelyn was a handful and the first child that I was able to breastfeed.  I submersed myself in caring for her and left most of Hayden’s care up to Wade.  Hayden had only just turned 3 when Emelyn was born, but he seemed so old to me compared to Emelyn and I treated him as such.  He grew up way too fast as a result of this and now I’m having to make up for it.  Emelyn was very, VERY attached to me for 20 months, which is how long I nursed her for and so Hayden didn’t have as much “mommy” time as he should have.  I slept with Emelyn while Wade slept with Hayden.  It was up to me to make an effort to spend time with him, but I was too exhausted from caring for Emelyn and trying to keep my business going.

Now, Hayden and I are trying to rebuild our relationship.  I find that he’s very clingy to me and often has to be on top of me.  Homeschooling him is one way that I am trying to make up for all of that lost time.   I keep him with me 80% of the time now.  He comes with me to the studio in the morning, runs errands with me … if I have to choose one child to go somewhere with me, its him.  Its definitely a major regret and something I would do completely different if I could.  I should have involved him in caring for Emelyn.

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